Up until six months ago I lived in a box. Metaphysical to be sure, but a box nonetheless. My box kept my frame of reference focused on about a ten year span of my current life. 

Several months ago, I, like many of you, was pulled onto Facebook. While still not a huge fan, it has blown out  the back of that box and renewed amazing old friendships. While infrequent reunion trips back to college would loosen up those memories, they would safely return to their stored spots as soon as I pulled into my driveway. Facebook has a way of  merging bits of my past into my day-to-day present. A bit spooky at times, but cool…..

Then a few weeks ago, I bravely toddled over to Twitter to see what that was all about. Let me tell you, it can be a mind blowing experience. Within a few days my universe had expanded beyond my initial obsession following Demi/Ashton or Michelle O’s outfits into reaching out to new, wildly varying “friends”. Connections made with writers I had been following for years as well as fellow bloggers have seemed to open up an exciting future. 

So, between the Facebook past and my Twitter future I find myself sliding seemlessly from rewind to fast forward as easily as TiVo moves my favorite recorded shows. My new friend at Adventures In Ecommerce refers to this at the Fourth Dimension. Instead of feeling the weight of all of this, I feel weightless as if floating in space. A Twilight Zone that is truly freeing, as if that old box can’t contain me and my dreams as easily as it once could. To infinity and beyond……

Anyone else?

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No, no, it’s not that I think I am a great blogger. Nor a juicy target for advertisers or bigger gobbling blogs to devour me for millions. It all goes back to Cloris Leachman.

For those of you who have not been with me since the beginning, an “early” post discussed the age gap I was struck with when Cloris Leachman’s name came up (before her Dancing With the Network Stars entry.) Basically, the younger girls did not even know who Mary Tyler Moore’s neighbor was-if this applies to you, please stop reading!

Anywho, I cleverly went to Google Image and posted a favorite picture of Mary, Phyllis and Rhoda at the end of the blog. Click “Publish” and that was it. Two comments and several weeks later it was forgotten.

Then, as any new blogger does several times a day, I was on my WordPress Dashboard hoping to see a few more visitors to my site, when the strangest sight caught my eye. The graph showing daily visitors had jumped so high, it would have meant cardiac arrest on a heart attack victim’s monitor. 

What was up? Had I been discovered? I could see it was coming from Google Image and sometimes had Cloris’ name attached to the search. Did she die? (Sorry Cloris!) It took my brother-in-law over at Without A Net to tell me she has just published a tell-all book. 

And now my heroine Mary Tyler Moore is making the rounds spiking the searches even more. So, here I sit, the girl formerly happy with 50 visits a day. Last few days-1,479 and 902!

So, all you blog gurus, is there something I should do about this to take advantage? I am sure they are just clicking through my site, but it is an interesting bait that I had not thought about before. I guess I should specialize in Cloris gossip dirt and 1,479 might hang around with me for a while!

So whose photo should I insert next? How about The Material Girl?

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I admit it, I am one of those sentimental fools with letters to my kids in the safety deposit box (please remind my husband in case he forgets). They would be a bit mortifying if published, even in this anonymous blogging world, right?

However, there are a few things I could pass on not only to my daughters, but maybe to yours as well.  Since I am sure your daughters are as unlikely to listen to you as mine to me, perhaps we could trade and share our stories with them! 

So here goes: Girls…..

1)Fearlessly search for a sustainable passion. If you love it, you will keep yourself involved one way or another over your lifetime. Many of us were encouraged to follow the “serious” career path-the one that our mothers were discouraged from following. Nothing wrong with serious-but it should connect with you. I truly feel this is what made it easier for many of us to “drop out”. There was no gut connection to our career even on our best days. So in the end it didn’t really matter if it was high paying-once you’ve left and it’s “no paying”, that point is moot! Even if you completely change direction later on, you will have had a taste of passion and won’t settle for anything less.

2)Embrace the love of making money for its own sake. This might go against #1, but I have noticed that many of us girls never took pride in the pleasure of just making the cash. Why is this? It certainly tides the boys over the rough patch or two that are bound to come up even in the most passionate pursuits. Maybe it’s just my age, but it all seemed a bit beneath us to be working for the money. Now I see it’s the ticket to true financial and emotional freedom. As Gordon Gekko said, “Greed is GOOD!” 

3) Feel free to take the time you need for detours. I still believe this can be done while heeding the lessons of “The Feminine Mistake”. Just keep vigilant during the detour just as you would if you were taking any unknown road. Don’t lose track of what’s going on with the road you jumped off-you never know when you will want to get back on.

And if  you leave the line,  be sure to visit from time to time with yummy snacks so they save you a spot somewhere!

What about you, wise friends? What else can we share with our daughters?

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So, many of us 40 somethings have spent the past several years ripping Facebook and its time stealing, obsession inspiring elements, right? Our children were zombie slaves to it, stalking the web in search of the latest beer bong pictures of their friends. How many debates have we had on the pros and cons of “sneaking” onto your child’s Facebook to see what is REALLY going on.

Like so many things with our generation, we have made it our own. We are all pretending we didn’t really want to join, but were “friended” so often, we just did it to be polite. But right there on our walls is the proof-the logged time spent engaging in Mafia Wars and being Geo Challenged, multiple links with friends from a long ago uncomplicated life, and hours spent trying to put the fricking profile picture up!

Confession of the newly zombied-I felt that funk that I have watched my kids experience the other weekend when a “friend’s” status showed a gathering I was not included in! Please…..its come to this?

Upside, I am sure we have scared our children off of their beloved space.

So, are anyone else’s kids having the last laugh on the Facebook topic like mine??

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Start at the beginning

March 1, 2009

So maybe I need to start at the beginning. Born in 1960, I am the product of parents whose cultural world was akin to Alice In Wonderland down that rabbit hole. Married at the beginning of the Eisenhower 60s, one hop later and they were in the midst of the Harvey Wallbanger 70s. Oh, those nights peeking through the banister watching the slow mo revelry as they danced interchangeably to Holly Holy and Hang on Sloopy. The obligatory Ice Storm, EST, I’m OK, Your OK 70s divorce followed. Ditsy blond mother goes back-to-school to become clear eyed, academic phenom with a hard earned career blooming in her mid 30s. 

So what to learn as a daughter of this life? Logically, take care of yourself-you might be in charge, right? Curiously, I now see, WRONG!

Instead I now see my life as a quixotic quest for a do-over-the way it “should” have been. Not toiling in the hard years of “women’s lib” , I took those lifted barriers for granted. No urgency to find that passionate career pursuit. A few years with stellar success in the corporate world lulled me into complacency. How about a little detour for that “do-over” family life? It’ll all be there, right?

Fast forward 20 years-and bam! 

Anyone else lose track of a few decades?

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